Stuck. I feel stuck in a world I do not belong in. I gasp for the air my lungs desperately need but the water just keeps filling my lungs. Pouring and filling. Pouring and filling. The dark cloud that was once ever present above me has slowly made its way back to hover. The rain pounds down harder and harder, this time, there is no relief. No angel to save me. No angel to help me, to guide me, to hold me. No angel, just rain. The lightening begins and the thunder roars, shaking the ground beneath my feet. Shaking the ground, shaking me, and shaking every step of progress I have made. Shaking and shaking until the ground again, begins to crumble. My feet lose their grip and I'm thrown to my back. The crash sends pain screaming through my back, my head begins to pound. The pain is too much. I cannot get up. I'm stuck in this place. Bound by signed papers and green pieces of paper that are all too powerful. I need to get up, to go back. To leave those papers behind, to cut my losses and make my way back to where I belong. With no one around, there is no help. No one knows that I'm on the ground, stuck, and too weak to get back up. I need to go back, to find my angel. I need his love, I need his help. I need him there. I need to go back. I need to get up. To show him that I need to come back. I need to be there. I'm not strong enough to do this, not here, not now. I need my angel...but I can't get up without his help. I'm too ashamed to tell him that I've fallen once again. That yet again, I need his help. I need his love, I need his strength, and I need his wisdom to help me up. To hold me, and to love me until I've learned once again, to love myself. I don't know where to start, and I don't know how to tell him. I don't know. I'm stuck. Stuck in a world I do not belong in. I'm gasping for the air, the air my lungs desperately need but the water, the water, it just keeps filling my lungs. Drowning. Fighting. Drowning. Fighting. I can no longer breathe. My heart is slowing down. And the lights-the lights go out all around me as the earth beneath me swallows me inside.